


Becoming Me

by ReneerDymphna



Series: The Frozen Dream [2]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: M/M, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:00:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3061871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReneerDymphna/pseuds/ReneerDymphna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The second part in my series Frozen Dream. </p><p>Manny's plan for Jack takes it's next step. Human once again, will he be able to see Aster again and what of their kits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A bit late, Xmas was nutty and my family as always keeps me busy lol I got something up tho. :D I could never leave Jack dead!

I felt myself being pulled up from the icy water, breaking through the thin ice. It was freezing and I was cold. I opened my eyes as I gasped upon breaking through the ice, filling my lungs with the chilly night air. The first thing my eyes noticed was the moon, it was so big and shined to brightly as if welcoming me back. Coughing loudly some of the cold water left my lungs as I was deposited on the edge of the river. Lifting my head slightly I looked around trying to look for my savior only to find none. I rolled onto my side and into a ball as I trembled my soaked clothing doing nothing to keep me warm. Eventually I stopped feeling cold and that’s when I finally fell asleep.

The next time I awoke I felt warmer, almost too warm as I started to slowly make out the voices of those around me. “What was he doing out on the ice, do you know him?” One had said, sounded older and male.

“No, Da. I don’t know him, maybe he was checking the ice to go skating like I was. I heard it was below freezing last night.” was the other, also male.

“It’s practically spring, you should know that you shouldn’t be out there skating this time of year! It’s Easter morning, go call your damn mother before she dies of fright!” The first voice yelled out before I heard the of padding of feet as they walked followed by the sound of a door opening and closing. “Teenagers these days” the older man said with a sigh.

I couldn’t help the soft snicker that left my lips, I probably should have remained silent if I wished for my listening in to not be noticed. A second later I got to meet the eyes of the older voice as he was hovering over me, ripping my eyes open to shine a light in them. “Are you awake?” He asked softly. I reached my arms up and weakly pushing his hands away from my face. “Yeah, I’m awake...” I answered my voice sounding off, most likely due to the dryness in my throat. “Where am I? Who are you?” I asked, after clearing my throat a few times and swallowing hard.

“You are at a hospital just outside of Burgess. My son and his friends found you by a lake there. As for who I am, my name is Erwin Schultz. My son is Gunner, he should be back shortly. Now, may I ask who you are?”

“My name?”  
“Yes, I need it to contact your family.” Erwin answered with a small smile.

“Who am I?” I asked, my voice just barely a whisper. The worried look that entered the old mans face didn’t go un noticed by me as I looked up and into his eyes as if they held the answer I was searching for.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aster and kits, and Gunner finding Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Sophie will be in this chapter. Jamie is now 17/18 and Soph is 12. :) Gunner is also showing up again.
> 
> Also a huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed either this work or it's first part~ Seriously <3 you guys :3

Ten years, ten long years his soul had been missing. The thought of it alone caused for a strong pull in my chest as if my heart was trying to just end itself and this pain. It had taken me a good five years to be able to be the father that my kits needed, no....they are no longer kits now. The three had grown healthy and strong, now two healthy does and a buck stood where my babies had once. If it wasn’t for the other guardians I don’t think they would have survived that first year. 

Looking up I found the three messing by the dye river, colors swirling up their arms as they dunked eggs and occasionally splashed one another while they helped me in last minute preparations for Easter tomorrow. Laying my brush back down on the mixing tray I sighed finding that I had once again painted an egg in his eye color with frost designs all around it. “That makes 3,756...hope the kids like winter themed again this year” I mumbled before looking back up at my kits, “Sable, Kayla, Jackson! It’s time to get ready!” I called placing the egg down so it could run off to join the others in the tunnels for the surface. 

My three joined me I smiled, they had grown up just fine. Jack would have been proud. Jackson now stood at about my shoulder height and his two sisters just below him. The two often gave him hell for not being taller and the way Kayla’s eyes the same as her mothers would sparkle when she teased reminded me so much of him. She never really knew when to stop in her teasing and that’s when Sable came in. Sable was a little more rough in her poking and she often got into physical fights with Jackson. 

Shaking my head I nodded at the three, “It’s time to go.” I said as we made our way down the tunnels. I handed my kits each a hooded cloak I made for them to wear, as long as they kept the hood up they would not be seen. It took me by surprise that first year when unlike me they didn’t need believers to be seen and since then they’ve had to wear these invisibility cloaks. Being part human they could have shape shifted to a human form, but it took a lot of effort and they ran out a magic quickly being so young still. The cloaks slowed down movement, but it’s not like you had to run and hide eggs. The four of us got it done just fine every year since. 

As with past years we saved Burgess for last. Once we had finished we made our way to their mothers lake to pay our respects. As each of my kits took turns speaking to Jack’s resting spot it came to Sable when we got interrupted by yelling teens.

“Is he breathing?” Yelled a male. “Oh My god! He’s dead!” This time it was a females voice. “Calm down, he’s breathing” said the third voice, another male. 

Sable let out a quick, “What the fuck?” at being mid talking to her mom when the commotion started, I was quick to correct her for use of such language in this place. Curiosity got the best of me, Humans usually did not come here so late in the season. The four of us made our way over, I signaled for my kits to remove their hoods when I noticed who it was. Jamie was holding his sister as she shook obviously worried for the teen on the ground. He looked soaked but I could hear his heart beating from where I stood. Gunner, one of the believers we gained shortly after the whole Pitch incident was checking for his vitals. I guess being the son of a healer helped at times like these. 

Moving over to the group I cleared my throat to let our presence be known to the small group. “Aster!” Jamie yelled followed quickly by his sisters, “Bun! Bun!” even at 12 she still called me by such a nickname, but it sounded right coming from her. “What are you three doing out here so late?” I asked my kits standing just behind me nodding their hello’s. I knew the answer before asking by the ice skates in a pile right by them, but I asked anyways out of habit. My eyes trailing to the still form on the ground who seemed so familiar curled in a ball in a blue sweatshirt and brown leggings. “Well...we heard it was cold enough to freeze and well....obviously we are not the only ones to hear that...” Jamie answered his voice trailing off at the end. “It can not get cold enough to ice skate kids, you know this!” I snapped. “Without Jack it.....” my voice began cracking as I continued, “...it’s just not possible.” I felt each of my kits placing a hand on my back as I struggled, showing me their support.

Gunner finally looked up at me from the still body on the ground, “He’s breathing but his heart beat seems irregular. Let’s take him to my jeep and get him to my Da.” he said, removing his coat followed by the boys soaked sweatshirt. As the hoodie was removed from the boy on the ground and the pale skin came into sight I felt an old familiar tug. Just like the one I got with Jack, but this was not him. It was a human, with brown hair I tried to tell myself not fully believing it. My hope refusing to let it go 100%. Gunner wrapped his coat around the boys upper body before scooping him up and beginning to walk back up the path to where his vehicle must have been. After a quick goodbye the three where gone, and the four of us left standing there. 

I reached up and rubbed over where my heart was, that tugging not letting up one inch. “It couldn’t be..” I mumbled. Kayla came up right beside me after exchanging worried glances with her siblings, “What’s wrong Dad?” she asked. “Nothing..” I whispered back. “There is no way that’s him...” I continued looking after where they had left for another 20 minutes before I let my kits finally drag me back to the warren and a night of dreams filled with laughing blue eyes and a tangle of limbs.


	3. Chapter 3

My stay at the hospital was more or less boring. The only thing I was able to do for fun was to draw designs on the slightly frosted windows. It was mostly swirled designs, similar to ones the frost itself made but more detailed. At times I drew the outlines to cute rabbits or decorative easter eggs. I assumed it was since I was found on the eve of Easter and I remember nothing from before then. 

At nights my dreams would be filled with beautiful open fields and flowers growing eggs. My favorite place in the dream when I could control it was this tree by a river of flowing colors. I was never able to look at myself since nothing had a reflection and I was unable to look down but I always felt heavy in the dreams, almost like I was carrying around extra weight and it was troubling my breathing. I think someone was with me, but I never seem to remember who....just a blur of grey and a voice saying a name I can’t recall when I awake. All I do keep of the stranger is this feeling like they are important, and hope that they are out looking for me. Another place I would dream of was a frozen pond, I’d be sliding around on the ice a long stick in my hand, I don’t know why but I felt right...as is I was complete with it in my grasp. Laughing as the wind blew in my face at points picking me up in it’s comforting embrace. I always found it odd how the hair that blew in my face was white....mine was brown.

At times I would awake and look to the windows at night, to my designs and I would swear 3 rabbit people looked back at me from beyond the glass. Once I thought them to be in my room, sniffing me while they looked around my things. On the night they all ended in my room I heard them speaking, softly so I missed most of it. The one closest to me was holding my blue sweatshirt I was found in, it was still unwashed by now dry. It was holding it to her face turning to look at the other two. A pure white rabbit about my height with light blue markings. I heard the other two talking as well saying something about ‘should not have come’, and ‘to put it back’. I was confused but could hear the white one closest to me clearly, “But it smells just like father said mother did. He was acting weird when we saw him that night. Something’s up.” still looking away I heard another voice yell a name, “Kayla!” and some other words more softly but I couldn’t make them out. The voice seemed to come from a black one with similar blue markings but a slightly different shade. The voice struck something in my chest and I couldn’t help the pull to say the name as I whispered, “Kayla...” the white rabbit snapped it’s body around startled and blue eyes the same as mine stared back at me. The tallest of them all a grey one came forward and cursed quickly grabbing the white one by the arm as they all left out an open window. Barely able to stay awake I fell back asleep that name still fresh in my mind when I awoke. My sweatshirt on the ground where it was dropped and a cracked open window only proved the truth of what happened the night before. 

I had told Gunner of my dream that I was so sure to be true and he got a look of surprise and mumbled a, “Why would they be here..” before telling me that I must have a very vivid imagination and to just forget it. Gunner had quickly become my friend and only source to the outside world. I was unable to walk and had almost no muscle strength. His father Erwin was shocked by this but worked hard daily with me to build them back up. It had already been 3 weeks and no family had come forward for me so he had decided to welcome me into his home until they could be found. It was another week before that happened. 

The trip to their house was anything less than boring, Gunner decided to sit in the back seat with me and even though we had plenty of room he sat so our knees touched the whole way. I kept sneaking glances the whole ride and always found his eyes already meeting mine and a twinkle in his eyes that made my stomach do flips. The way they shined when he looked at me that way reminded me of a real emerald, sparkling just for me. I spend the whole ride with a heated face and once we arrived it made Erwin freak out thinking I had another fever. Gunner just chuckled the whole time not once offering any help. 

I was given the guest room next to Gunner, his father slept on the other side of the house. His father had gone and bought me some basic clothing and a pair of light blue sneakers. The man really was too kind. Gunner made quiet jokes about midnight visitors and went off to his room. He had told me he had some friends coming over tonight so I could meet new people, two of which happened to be with him the night he found me. 

That night came quickly, Erwin had to work the night shift so it was just me and Gunner. The door bell rang and he yelled for me to get it while he finished ordering some pizza for everyone. Running to the door I pulled it open and came face to face with a girl who looked more like a football player, we just stood staring wide eyed at each other for a moment before other faces started to pop around her trying to see what the hold up was. A girl with a cap on and short brown hair was the first to speak, “What’s the hold up ‘cake?” Until she laid eyes on me and screamed, “OMG Jack!” proceeding to push in with her while I was swarmed by both girls and a boy with glasses. “How did you come back, where have you been?” The questions continued on and on when Gunner came back in just staring at the whole thing going on. A boy with brown hair and a slightly younger girl with long blond hair angled to the side remained in the door way with stunned looks on their faces. 

The larger of the two girls pulled back first a confused look on her face, “Jack why are you warm?!” and the boy with his glasses looked at him pulling back just after with the short haired girl with the cap on, “And why is your hair and eyes brown?” he asked. 

The world started getting darker as my breathing sped up, “I-I don’t know?” I started as everything began spinning. I looked back to Gunner and mouthed, “Help” before it all went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a day late, I got most of it done and forgot to save so I had to rush and get it done this morning. :) If I missing a word sorry lol I'll read through it later and adjust anything that needs it ~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anther chapter, I only have 20 mins to get it typed and up so hope it came out alright :p I have to type asap once I decide what to do or I'll change it lol! I might edit it some late tonight if I get a chance to. Anyways, enjoy~
> 
> Gunner is actually based on someone I know lol The name was changed but everything else is pretty much within his character. He was that friend you loved to hate but somehow always was around. He also obsessively dyed his red hair this ugly dark color. I'm sure once he finds this I'm never going to hear the end of it lol love you hun!

I had gone to my bed early that night, having told the kits that I was tired. I could tell from the way they all exchanged glances and looked at me they didn’t buy it for a minute. Lately they’ve been more curious about Jack, asking me to once again tell them all the same old stories like when they were children. It had struck me as odd at first but in an odd way it helped me move past that boy the kids had found at the lake. I had visited him a few times in the hospital, but even if he resembled my Jack in both smell and body shape I knew it could not be him. 

I spent the past 2 hours rolling back and forth in my large nest shaped bed. The sounds of my kits giggling and running around our home comforting me in my sadness. I knew I would always have a bit of Jack with me through them, and that thought alone is what helped me to finally fall into a light sleep. 

I had been asleep for maybe 20 minutes when I heard it, as if the voice came from right in my very room, ‘Help.’ The pull on my chest made me spring into action, the name I never thought I’d get to call again leaving my lips without a moments hesitation, “Jack!” I called. My kits came running into my room all looking worried asking if I was alright. 

I know my eyes must have looked a bit insane as I tried to control my breathing so I could speak, “It’s Jack!” I said, “He’s calling me!” with that I pushed past the three of them, all of which tried to quickly follow me but being smaller were unable as I was out in the warren and down a hole to my beloved before they even made it out the front door of our home.

I came up outside of Gunner’s house, I could hear the voices of the children all of which sounded upset. I quickly made my way inside and found them all upstairs in Gunner’s room huddled around a form in his bed. I decided to sit back and see what was being said just beyond the doorway before I made my move.

“Well...he does kind of look like him..” Jamie started, all the children nodded in agreement. “And he was found in a blue sweatshirt and brown leggings, just like Jack used to wear.” he finished. Gunner ran his head through his hair, obviously flustered, “I only met Jack a handful of times, but I know he wasn’t human. It’s also the wrong hair and eye color!” he tried to reason. Cupcake was the first to speak against Gunner, “He looks just like him! You can’t deny it! Why didn’t you mention this sooner!” Pippa chimed in with, “The smile he had when he answered the door looked just like Jacks! Only he had a smile like that!” Monty nodded turning to the boy in the bed, “He’s about the right height as well. Why didn’t you say something Jamie?” He asked adjusting his glasses. Turning bright red in embarrassment Jamie stuttered, “W-well....He wasn’t awake at the time.....How was I to know it was him!”

Sophie sat quietly in the corner and shivered, “Can I borrow a sweatshirt Gunner?” she asked trying to keep out of the argument. “Sure, in the closet” he said quickly more or less ignoring her question. As she opened the door, he tried to jump forward to stop her but Cupcake was in his way so he yelled a, “No, wait! Stop!” As Sophie opened the door a long stick of wood fell out, she caught it but fell back slightly with it in her hands, “What’s this?” she asked. All the other kids went silent as I stepped fully into the room no longer willing to just stand by and listen to what was going on. I turned to Sophie and took one glance at the wood she held in her hands knowing immediately what it was, “Is....Is that Jack’s staff, mate?” I asked, my eyes opening as wide as they could go as my voice took a slightly high note. “Why does Gunner have it? It was lost when we.....when I lost my Jack.” I moved over and took the Staff from Sophie gently running my hands over it lovingly. “My Jack.” I whispered. The kids cleared a path for me to the bed as I moved beside the the boy in the bed as he began to awake. “It’s no matter now...”I whispered. “As long as he’s back with me, nothing else matters.” My eye’s began to tear as his eyes opened. “Snowflake, my love.” I whispered. “He may not remember you Aster, from what Erwin and Gunner said he remembers nothing.” Jamie warned. Nodding I answered, “That’s alright mate we can learn our love for each other all over again.”

Jack just looked past me as if I wasn’t there and address Jamie, “Who are you talking to?” he asked, his voice slightly off due to his just having woke up. He looked around the empty side of the bed as if he had missed something. “Y-you don’t see him?!” Cupcake asked all the kids now turned to look at Jack, shocked. “See who? No one is there?” he asked obviously trying to figure if this was some weird joke they were playing. 

“Oh my gosh Aster, he can’t see you!” Sophie yelled, her eyes forming tears. “Who’s Aster?” I asked her before she fled the room sobbing. “What did I do?” he asked, nobody answered so I did. “Nothing Mate...you did nothing.” as a tear rolled down my face. Gunner stood at the other side of the bed the corner of his mouth quirking up ever so slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, it's done! lol Aster has figured it out~ I'll try to update again within a weeks time. :)
> 
> On a side note, someone asked to use my story line. I say go for it, if you want to go another way or can make it better I don't mind :) I can't be the first to think something like this up and I'm not going to be all 'they stole my idea'.  
> I also do take requests and usually can get them going fairly quickly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah....went missing for a bit. Sorry! Stuff and things happened! I'll try to get this going (as well as some of my others). I go on vacation end of the month for a short bit but i'll try to post another chapter after this one before then! ;-;

After Gunner's friends all more or less looked like someone had kicked their puppy and lit it on fire he took them from the room and closed the door. I heard the soft murmurs of words being said and a girl crying. I was unsure what the huge problem was, but I figured it was just another thing I had forgotten. I supposed it would all come back to me eventually, and when Gunner came back in smiling at me he had assured me that it would all be fine and he would help me to remember what I needed to. He at times would shock me with how much he cared, so I dared to ask him that night of what I was to him. He told me that simply, "You are my everything, and you mine." Feeling like a truck had run me over I was only able to ask in a stutter to be left for the rest of the day to think this over.

In the morning I woke to find myself alone, an oddly cold. Shaking my head I kicked off the blankets and wandered out of the room. I found Gunner in the livingroom. Unable to make eye contact with him I found my feet oddly interesting as I had my toes play together. A soft laugh caused me to look up finally as Gunner called me over, muttering something about me being cute. "Look," he started once I was in front of him, he took both my hands firmly and continued, "We can take this slow, let you remember "us"." All I ask is that you don't run from me. Nodding, I continued to break eye contact with him as he tried to meet my eyes. "One way, would be to maybe kiss? Might kick start that frozen brain of yours!" He laughed briefly again pulling me down more towards him, "What do you say?" Chewing my lip I answered, "Okay but just one...okay?" Smiling Gunner glanced to the side like he was looking at something before looking back at me, "One is all I need." I looked where he had glanced and could find nothing, before I could voice my question of what had stolen his attention he grabbed my chin and turned my head to his our lips connecting just a second later. 

He moved his lips roughly over mine, the chapped skin irritating my smooth ones. I tried to ignore the odd pressure and closed my eyes, a image popped to my mind of a tree and of doing something similar to this. The lips I felt much smoother to the ones currently pressed to mine, a soft whisper of 'snowflake' filled with love. The feeling of hunger from the memory pushed me to respond to the kiss. Shifting my body slightly to get a better angle I brought my hand to rest on his shoulder for support. I groaned slightly as we parted a tight feeling in my chest and a word tumbling from my lips, "Aster..."

"What did you say?!" Gunner yelled, startled my eyes flew open, "I....just...I don't know..." I tried to defend, he grabbed my upper arm tightly "How dare you whisper his name when you are kissing me! Groaning for me!" His hand struck my cheek hard the slap echoing in the room. "Gunner...I-I'm sorry.." My eyes flew about looking for some reason that the name came out, but could think of nothing. "Of course your sorry." He pushed me back and away from him as he stood, I noticed the taste of copper in my mouth so I reached up and found the corner of my lip to be the cause. "I'm going out" he hollered, "and don't you dare think of leaving this house until I've returned." I just nodded dumbly and watched him leave. Once I heard his truck start up I stood and went back to my bed deciding to climb in and just try to ignore this day. I felt oddly comforted though as if I wasn't alone and finally felt the warmth I was missing when I awoke, even without any blankets on.

A slam of the door woke me that evening, the sound of Gunner and his father laughing told me that the had come home together. Sitting up in the bed I wiped at my mouth finding old dried blood. Sighing I glanced around the room as I heard the two of them talking happily downstairs. My eyes landed on a long thin piece of wood propped in the corner, I'd think it a walking stick if not for how long it was. "More like one for a herder. " I mumbled standing with my curiosity peeked. A few short steps found me beside it, my body feeling as though it screamed that this was mine and to take it. Deciding to listen to that small voice I reached out a hand and grabbed a hold of it. Almost instantly all the houses windows slammed open a freeing dead of winter blast shooting into the house and filling it. I could hear Gunner running up the stairs yelling to his dad to stay downstairs. As he ran into the room he screamed for me to drop it, before it was too late. Not sure what he was talking about but more worried about his shocked/scared expression I yelled back, "What's happening" He tried to get closer to but the freeing winds that seemed to surround me protectively would not allow it. Shivering I started hyperventilating not sure what to think of all this, "It's okay Snowflake, just breathe." My neck made an audible snap as I turned to the voice that came through so clearly even though it was spoken softly. My eyes shocked to find a tall rabbit, man, thing standing just two feet from me, looking just like the ones I had seen in the hospital, "W-who are you?" He gave me a smile, that I could clearly see in his eyes, "Mate, you can see me?" I nodded and he continued, "Aster...my name is Aster." My eyes felt about ready to pop out, the sound of Gunner yelling somehow mute to me. "And.....what am I to you?" He smile and moved until we stood just inches apart, "Perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup just going to leave it there ;p


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thought hit me on what to do. Sorry littlebirdy3tweet :p Love you!
> 
>  
> 
> * means notes about this on the bottom

I reached out for Aster, my right hand shaking slightly while my left still clung to the staff like this would all be a dream if I dropped it. The wind still swirled strongly around us, cocooning us in a world all our own. As my arms encircled his neck and I lifted myself on my toes to reach I could feel his arms wrapping around my waist, his hands trembling nervously just like my own. I felt as if I was in one of those slow motion moments that you would see out of a romance as our mouths came together, lips moving in a slow dance that seemed something out of a legend. I knew that if I never regained all my memories I would always have this one of us, and that would be enough. I moved my right hand to try and adjust the hold on the staff to only bonk him in the head. I giggled softly and he just smiled, a light dancing in his eyes. We pulled away and I released the staff after a moments hesitation. As soon as it left my hand the wind completely died down, I'd have thought it never happened if not for the obvious mess it left behind. I kept my eyes on Aster the whole time afraid he may disappear once again. Relief washed through me as he remained right beside me where I had left him. 

Gunner moved ready to come over, the look of rage not hidden from his face. Aster began growling deeply, his fur seeming to stand on end. His father started hollering up about nitrogen pills*, with a huff and quick, "He was mine." Gunner stormed down the stairs and could be clearly heard ushering his father out the door followed quickly by the sound of his truck starting up and racing from the driveway. 

I turned back to Aster, smiling shyly. "Well....now that he's gone. Do you want to...I mean...again?" Stumbling over my words he just laughed at me, pulling me back close to him and in his arms. Bending down this time his mouth came for mine, I closed my eyes and waited for contact but instead felt him thrown from me. My eyes flew open as a groan tumbled from his lips and he stood back up after his impact with the wall. "What the-" I questioned, "Frosty, don't tell me...." he cut me off,"How old are you?" Looking off to the side I thought for a moment before I answered, "The doc thinks I'm about 16 or 17, Why?" looking back up at him as he came to stand back next to me. He brought his hand up and scratched at one of the ears on his head, "I was afraid of that..." he said. I knew he had more to say but he motioned for me to sit on the bed before he continued. "Snowflake....no Jack. We once had a relationship....a family-" I cut him off right there, "A family! What! We have kids!?! how?" I started to rush out a ton of questions but he raised his hand to silence them all, "I will explain it all, but first you need to understand. You used to be Jack Frost, a winter spirit. Before that you did live as a human, like you are now but you died and well Manny....long story but you became Jack Frost, and eventually a guardian like me." He sighed taking a deep breath and a moment before continuing, "Well we do have children together, they don't know about you here now...but well y-you....you..." He voice kept catching as he tried to finish his sentence, I urged him on by reaching my hand up and placing it on his arm in comfort. "You died.....an' left me, us while giving birth." he finished looking off to the side sadly, "I don't know how it happened, but you've come back once again as a human.....which is great but......you are still under age. I can't touch you since I am sworn to protect the children, the human children." I nodded dumbly before asking my next question, "But we kissed before..." He nodded understanding my question, "Well that was your staff I'd assume....Jack Frost's staff. It must still hold some of your winter spirit abilities blocking the oaths power to protect you from..such things."

"Look, why don't you come with me. I think you shouldn't stay here any longer....it's not safe." Nodding in agreement I stood and he pulled me up into a bridal style hold and grabbed the staff before carrying me from the house and tapping his foot on the ground, before I was able to ask what he was doing a hole appeared and he jumped down into it my screams echoing down the dark hole.

 

\----  
Now a little something to let you know what the kits are up to  
\----

Jackson laughed in delight as he shook the can of ready whip getting ready to start unloading the contents on Kayla, who had a container of sprinkles her hand buried in the container grabbing a handful. "Don't you dare Jackson! I'll rain down a rainbow hell on you!" Kayla called out pulling her hand now full of rainbow sprinkles from the container, her eyes sparkling with unleashed laughter. "A lot of good your rainbow will do ya once, you got a coat of cream on your fur! Have fun getting it out ya monkey!" Kayla unleashed her sprinkle load at her brother reaching for another as ribbons of whipped cream flew back at her over their kitchen table, screams and laughter quickly following as they completely trashed their kitchen. Sable sat calmly at the table eating her ice cream an she herself got covered in condiments, scoops a bit of the cream off her arm to eat, "yum." she said to herself completely used to her siblings playing, and would have most likely joined in if not for how good the ice cream tasted.

After all that could ever be put into a sundae was rained down on their kitchen, and each had a belly fully of the sweet stuff they all stood at one side of the room taking it all in. "I am no cleaning this." Sable said in a monotone voice, the other two looking depressed, " B-but Sable!" cried Jackson as Kayla made her best puppy dog eyes, "No! I didn't do this! You two goofs did! So stop being a baby Jackson and get to it!" She said handing him a cloth, "And Kayla you know Dad will know you started this the second he sees it, and you know those puppy dog eyes don't work on me!" she finished handing Kayla the spray bottle. 

"But Sable!" Kayla whined, "You are the best at cleaning, and...and I'll make you that dip you love!" she offered. "Oh?" Sable asked, "Tell me more..." Kayla smirked knowing she had once and gave Jackson a high five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Nitrogen pills can be used to help prevent a heart attack, my grandmother takes them.
> 
>  
> 
> I'm not thrilled with how this chapter came out, but I'm leaving for Orlando Saturday and not sure when I'd get on again. :/ Hope y'all like it ^_^


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been so long! This is short, but I promise the next to be longer!

Aster took Jack to see North, hoping his Yeti might have some idea of what to do about Jack's becoming human and a way to make it so the two could stay together. The Yeit had run countless test on the eternal teen, taken more vials of blood than Aster could keep count and still no answer. Jack had fallen asleep hours into the testing, and Aster took that time to take a walk around the workshop, ending up in the globe room, looking up the opening to the moon. "Please just tell me why, Why!?" he screamed at moon, his voice booming off the walls of the room and through out the workshop. North came from a side room, and walked to his friend large hand clasping firmly on his shoulder, "We will figure this out." he said trying to comfort him, turning to look at the moon as well, "But some answers would be nice..." The two stood together for a good hour before North excused himself for the evening urging Aster to lay in a couch he had placed in the room for the meetings, telling him to get some rest. Aster only agreed since he could stay watching the moon for any signs of Manny, slowly drifting to sleep tears in his eyes _Please.... **please**_. he begged in his mind as he finally found sleep. 

In his dreams he could see Jack, but not the one he knew or even the new human Jack but him in the past. Aster got to watch his family and see all he had, even the day he had lost his life screaming out in his dream world for him and tried to save him but unable since these things already took place. He got to see the night in which Jack had awoken and get a quick brief glance at the loneliness the boy had felt and the countless nights he prayed to the moon for more than just his name, and to also be human once more. _He didn't like being a spirit?_ He watched the two of them meet, his fear at joining the Guardians, and them having the kits. The happiness he could see and the hope for them being born safe rolls off the boy in waves. As he passed on tears rolls down Aster's face as if had just happened. Time went by in a blur until the boy reemerged as a human once again, the words 'given a second chance' echoed in Aster's mind in a voice not his own. _Manny_. Aster thought as he watched him be found before time rushed to the present, him in the hospital bed Yeti moving around him trying to keep him warm and comfortable. 'He will have to choose, embrace the gift I have given him...or return to what he once was, only achievable through death.' the voice spoke again, before Aster was shocked from his sleep jumping to his feet. "No way...." Aster ran to Jack's hospital room yelling for the others to come. Once they all arrived he awoke Jack and relayed the details of his dream to them. "So wait...I have to die!?" Jack cried out, tears forming in his eyes as he began to shake. Aster rushed to hug him while the others just looked on visibly shocked by what was just revealed to them. "No....no. My mate, you can stay human. I would never make you.....we'll figure this out. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'll try to update a longer chapter tomorrow! This story is going to have 2 different endings so that should make it a bit interesting.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I spilled soda on my keyboard....still works but super sticky. Sorry for any misspelled words I miss! I press the key and sometimes it doesn't enter it. :/ Took a bit to dry out but is good now! Sorry for delay in writing/adding this. Only a few more chapters and I'll be finishing this up. ^_^
> 
> and a quick thanks~  
> NAruSasuLover16 - I'm glad you are enjoying it ^_^
> 
> and to others who may have been missed that reviewed this, and to any who have left kudos <3

Ever since Aster's dream he refused to leave my side, insisting that this could work even if we are unable to do anything besides hug. I felt pity for the man who had obviously loved me so greatly that just having me around was enough for him, I wish I could return it in kind. I had a few vague dreams of me with Aster, but he had almost never taken form in them....more flashes of color, whispered words filled with love and a touch soft and caring. The way I would say his name in these, filled me with longing to recapture that feeling.

Sitting up in my bed in the health ward of the workshop I found just the man I was thinking about, passed out in a chair beside my bed his hands firmly grasping one of him. I looked down at our connected hands and smiled, _his hands are so warm_ I thought, _so big and warm_. I brought my other hand over to rest on top of his and he awoke, gasping as he sat up, "Snowflake!" he all but yelled, "How are you feeling!? Do you need anything, water?" Laughing I just shook my head at him, "No, I'm fine." He mumbled something, I didn't fully catch, but decided to just let it go when he let loose this brilliant smile. "I'm going to go let everyone know you are awake." Nodding, I just watched as he left the room closing the door behind him. Today was the day I would meet our children. He had brought the idea up last night, thinking it may jump start my memories.

~~~

"I-I don't know if I should, if I'm even ready!" I cried out.

"There is no tomorrow, only today! If you meet them maybe you'll remember them! You may have passed during their birth, but while carrying them it was your whole life!" Aster argued standing firmly beside my bed, brows brought together in determination.

"But what if I don't remember them! That wouldn't be fair!"

"And never letting them meet their mother is fair?"

Chewing the inside of my cheek I broke eye contact, he must of known he had won cause he said, "I'll bring them in when you wake in the morning." and left. It's not fair he knows me so well and I know barely a thing about him.

~~~

I rolled my hands nervously, moisture gathering quickly in them. What if they don't like me was all I could think as I heard the soft sound of feet approaching my door, the shadow of someone standing on the other side attracting my attention. The door slid open and as my eyes landed on Aster and what must have been our children, they spring open feeling as though the may pop out at any moment, "From the hospital!" I screamed. Sable chimed in with "I knew it" and the kits all gave each other a high five. Aster jut looked about ready to pas out from shock as he looked back at the kits. "What do you mean, you knew?!"

All 3 lowered their ears at their fathers raise voice, "Well....we sort of went to the hospital." Jackson offered, stepping slightly behind Kayla. "It's your fault for not telling us sooner!" Kayla yelled back, here eyes darkening just like Jacks when he was pissed.  Unable to stay mad, most likely thinking that it made things earlier he sighed and turned back to me. "Well....anyways..these are our kits. I know you must have seen them already but let me introduce them properly." 

He pushed one of the females forward first, her white fur shined like freshly fallen snow with markings of grey. Her eyes are what caught me since they looked like oceans of the purest blue, "This is our first born, Kayla. Her eyes are like how yours used to be, and her white fur is the same as your hair once was. She's taken the most after you." the girl nodded and looked like she wanted to come over for a hug or something similar but held herself back, "Hi...Mom." was all she said as she then turned and walked further into the room to allow her other siblings in. 

Next he pushed forward the female with the darkest fur like the night sky, lined with teal markings. Her eyes matched them and glittered with a pride, I wasn't sure at what but she was the one to say she knew it.... _knew what_ I wondered. Maybe who I was."This is our second born. Sable, say hi." he instructed "Hiya Mom....er Dad....Uhh Mom-Dad?" she giggled lightly and waved before Kayla pulled her to her side. I snickered slightly at her antics, "Either is fine." I assured her, "Or you can call me something else if you would like." She smiled at my words.

Finally he pushed forward the male, "And this is the baby of the group, our Jackson." The male was a shorter duplicate of his father with almost identical markings. The boy seemed the most shy of the 3 but managed a smile and quick, "Hey." before running to stand by his siblings.

The kits stayed with me for about 2 hours, asking questions. Most of which i was unable to answer, but still did my best. The three seemed a lot happier leaving than when they came, and each gave me a quick hug which I was happy to return. Once they left Aster returned, "so....what did you think?" he asked. I had to be honest, "They're great, you did an amazing job." Aster gave me a goofy grin, "Thanks, they are great. I just need to get them home and I'll come back, ok?" I just nodded and he took off, seemingly happier than he had been in days.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The endings are coming up, happy or sad version first? hmm either way i'll put them both up soon


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been so long, I just lost a close friend from an overdose and it just hit hard. I'm going to just do the sad ending for now.   
> Thank you to everyone who has so far commented, kudo'd, etc. I <3 you :3

Night fell an he still had not returned, I was beginning to grow nervous until North paid me a visit shortly after I had finished dinner. "So, you met the family! How it go?" his voice boomed as he came in, obviously a bit drunk. I shook my head at the man, "It went as good as it could have....but how are we to be a family when I can't even be held by my mate?...I know he's hoping to make this all work out, but it can't as long as I am....well human." North nodded in understanding, "I see, but fixing your problem is not so hard! Humans die so very easily, 'tis sad truth. I was once a proud Russian warrior! Strong! We all pass when our times comes. Just wait, one day you and Aster will be able to be together! He will wait for you I am sure!" Slamming his hand down on my back in an attempt to comfort he then excused himself to try and sneak more liquor before he was found out by Tooth.   
  
While I am sure what he said was more of a just wait it out, we'll figure something out. I knew what he said was the truth and that Aster would wait for me, I just couldn't do that to him. I couldn't make him wait. I climbed from my bed and went to the connecting bathroom to my private room. North had thought about everything for me, he was a good friend. One I had hoped to meet and fully remember again once I was restored to my prior self. I stopped in front of the sink and looked at myself in the mirror, nothing like the me the others had described, had missed. Not one trace of white hair or blue eyes to be found, instead a brown hair and eyed man looked back at me. "This is not the real me" I whispered before I steeled myself in my decision and punched the glass, shards of it flying every which way. I took one of the longer piece firmly in my left hand, "This is not me." I repeated as I ran it down my inner right arm pressing hard pushing it through layers of skin watching the blood bubble up and begin running ribbons of dark red down my arm. "I'm coming Aster, just wait for me." My vision became blurred by my tears as I continued slicing my lower arm until I could no longer stand an fell on my butt still going at my arm, slicing skin and muscle to try and speed the blood loss. As everything began to fade, no longer feeling the pain and surrounded by a pool of blood a hum in my ears. "I'm coming..." the last words I muttered out before a loud thump and bang was heard but I didn't now what from, my eyes refusing to open as I feel into a numbing sleep.

\----

Vague blurs of words echoed in my mind, my eyes barely making the light through my lids, I could hear Aster sobbing beside me and I wished I could tell him to dry his tears and just wait. I knew it wouldn't be long now, we'd be together. "I don't care what Manny said! North why'd you fucking tell him that!?"  he was screaming obviously at north.

Tooth's voice floated into my mind after I must have fell asleep once more. I felt warm, my arm giving a hard throb and head pounding, _Had it worked?_ I wondered, from what I knew of my previous self I was always cold, _maybe I just felt that way to others_..? "It's all we can do for him now." She said voice soft and sad, "If we don't he might try this again..." _What?_ I couldn't understand what she was talking about and was unable to wake myself more to ask, "I know.." Aster responded, "Just...I'll miss him." his voice sounded broken like he had been screaming for a long time. "Aster, we'll make sure to give him a good life after the wipe." she promised, I knew what she was talking about now, I've heard of it being done to others after the loss of their loves or families. It gave them another chance at life, but made them forget everything. _Don't do it!_ I screamed in my mind _Don't let them do this!_ My mental screams where cut off but his voice, "Do it." I felt his hand come up and the softness of his fur rub my cheek. I was able to produce one tear which I felt run from eye as he whispered in my ear, "If you remember anything....let it be my love for you." as all went white, a shock like a lightning bolt running down my spine.

 

~~~~ Aster POV

Letting Jack go had been the hardest choice I had ever made, but I knew that everyone's warning of his trying something foolish like this again to be true. I loved him more than life itself but I knew his stubborn side would make him just keep trying until he got what he wanted, even if I wanted it as well...just never be in such a way. Tooth had kept her promise, the memory he was given was one that he had grown up loved and moved from home once both his parents had passed. She had settled him in a town about 15 miles from Burgess, so he would at times show up there. He had become a school teacher and fallen for a woman in the office of the elementary school in which he worked. They had a fast romance and both had married and become pregnant within a year of meeting. I had continued to visit them up until she was about to give birth, they settled in a small cottage type home in the woods. He was happy, he was safe and he was starting a new family. 

The kits had known of what we had decided to do with their Mother, and while it took them a while to fully understand they all eventually agreed it was for the best. 

 

~~20 years from Aster's last visit

Time had gone slowly at first but eventually my wounds scabbed over, never fully healing as I turned all my focus onto my kits and being a guardian. Kayla had shocked me by discovering and mastering the ability to change her sex at will. Stubborn just like her mother, she I'm sure had done it so that her and Sable could have kits of their own. Not yet blessed but the two had moved from the main home and built themselves a place about 2 miles from me (for privacy). I had been shocked by them falling in love, but in the Pookan race family members sometimes would end up together, and no defects would come from their breeding so I gave them my blessing and helped build their small home. 

Jackson had told me he had met someone himself, a boy with eyes he compared to Kayla's. I had found a few humans with similar eye colors each time my heart throbbed, the memories still pulling at the scabs. He had told me how they had met just outside of Burgess, the boy, whose name was Caleb's car had broken down and Jackson had helped him get it off to the side and stayed with him the whole night. I was surprised that Caleb was not afraid of a huge rabbit, but happy that he had also found his one. I was set to go and meet the boy and his father that weekend. He had yet to introduce his father to Jackson, but had told him about my son. Caleb's father had approved and now we all just had to meet. 

\----

Saturday had come quickly as I popped from my tunnels and out onto a dirt path where we decided to meet. I looked around and found the boys standing a few feet away, Jackson was facing me and the boy a bit smaller stood in from of him the two obviously talking about something funny as Jackson laughed. Caleb stood at about his shoulders height, and mop of messy dark brown hair on his head. A simple shirt and worn jeans on his body. Jackson said something back to him, I didn't catch it but I did notice Caleb's laugh. _So similar._ I thought, bringing my hand up to rest over my heart.  "Dad!" Jackson called out, the boy Caleb turning to also look at me, face lit with excitement _Those eyes.....oh MiM is today going to be tough._. I raised my hand from over my heart and gave a slight wave, "Hey boys." I walked over and met the boy, his voice light and relaxed. He seemed to be a good boy.

We all started walking down the path to where he said he lived, I asked some basic questions about him and his family. When I asked about his mother he grew quiet and said she had died when he was young. He had been given her journal by his dad when he turned 18 and she wrote in it about meeting his dad, and how she was excited about having him and just every day things. One thing he said had stood out, apparently his father had loved another but married his mother to help them not worry about him. She was ok about it since she loved him so he seemed ok with it.  _Perhaps his first love passed on_ I guessed as we continued on. I stuck to favorite colors and other goofy questions for the rest of the walk, trying to not make today a sad day.

As we arrived at the house I stopped dead in my track at the end of the driveway, "Not this house..." I whispered. Jackson came over and put a hand on my shoulder, "Dad? What's wrong?" he asked as a man came around the side of the house, Caleb calling out "Dad!"  as he got closer. My head spun as I took in the man, "Jack.." I struggled to get out as he came to stand in front of me. He had aged by those eyes still held his laughter and joy of life in them. "Hey Aster." he said a playful grin coming to his face, "What are the odds?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was a bit rushed, not a lot of time and it's been so long I wanted to get SOMETHING out. I will prob will do a fluffy ending, but I might just have it as a continuation of this one....or maybe just a whole different ending all together. Hmm..I'll decide later.

**Author's Note:**

> I will do my best for a longer chapter next time! ;.;


End file.
